When we first introduced them, Joe's mom was holding Matthew because I had read that it is better to have a 3rd party introduce the baby so that the older child isn't too jealous of mommy holding a baby or get too territorial.
Unfortunately our plan didn't work out as well as we wanted. Dylan had just woken from a nap and we were in a strange house (Joe's sister's house) and there were other children there (Dylan's cousins) so I think all of this added up to some confusion and indifference towards Matthew. Also, Dylan has been a little under the weather this week and being away from us for two nights caused him to be a little needy.
For the first few days Dylan's take on Matthew varied from being indifferent, confused, loving, jealous and just plain scared of the baby. Dylan leaned over and whispered to me on day two, "I scared of the baby, mama". I was so touched by this confession.
But here we are on day 5 and Dylan is so happy to see his brother in the mornings, wanting to wake him and kiss him. He is very gentle around him and also now very curious. The nursing thing is also confusing to him but he is taking everything in stride. Daddy has given Dylan extra attention and that has helped with the transition, they have really bonded in the last few days. Also, we noticed that Dylan's verbal communication has blossomed since the baby's arrival. Maybe Dylan feels that he has to work harder to remind us that he is still here. One thing for sure, Dylan has only one volume - loud. I hadn't realized how loud he is until we've had to ask him to quiet down because the baby is sleeping etc.
Here are some photos of the boys bonding.
5 comments:
How sweet are these photos! Matthew is just precious, and Dylan is such a handsome little boy. He looks like a very proud big brother! Y'all make such a beautiful family. -- Fran
The pictures are just darling. I'm not surprised that Dylan's vocabulary has picked up. You guys will all have such a wonderful Thanksgiving. Is the big project mostly done?
Dylan is so lucky that you have both put lots of thought into his acceptance of and feelings regarding Matthew. This seems like the last thing most parents think of and yet you researched it in advance. That is so impressive! You and Joe could write the parent's handbook on this. Well done!
Thanks Jen, we also had some presents "from the baby" for Dylan. That went over really well.
Hi Quyen,
It was so great to read all about your labour and how Dylan has taken to Matthew.I almost felt like I was there (but glad I didn't "feel" the labour pains! ).
What a beautiful family you have now.
Lots of love,
Zarina
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